Winter Dodgeball 09 Recap-Game 1

It’s the words the rest of the Queens dodgeball league prayed they wouldn’t hear this winter: They’re back.

Outmanned yet again, but never ever outgunned, Tom O’Connor’s world fucking champion dodgeball squad “I’d Still Rather Not Say” returned to action last night to defend the coveted zogsports title. With several players missing due to unforeseen circumstances, ISRNS would arrive at the gym with only five players. Just minutes before the match O’Connor would sign 2 random jabronis standing on the sideline to fill in.

O’Connor’s last second tactic would backfire in the first game as the guy wearing jeans with a tucked in white T-shirt would cost IRNS a few points simply because he didn’t know the rules, eliminating himself with an early throw of the girls’ white ball. IRNS would fall in a close battle in game 1, losing 12-11 to the star studded white team.

“Yeah that one’s on me” O’Connor explained, “Guess I shoulda filled that guy in on the rules a little better.”

But as they always do ISRNS would continue to fight, and rallied behind second year and budding superstar Ismail Khair. “I made some plays last season, and I’m just looking to carry that momentum into this season. I want to be the go to guy.” Khair and company seemed to shake the rust off in game 2, cruising to an 11-4 victory at the break over the less talented black team.

Game 3 featured a rematch with the white team, but it would prove to much more tactical and low scoring affair. A few key catches by Josh “El Bandito” Oshinsky would help keep ISRNS in the game and with the score tied at 2 with a minute left, Oshinsky declared, “Catching is contagious. It’s contagious. It’s about to get contagious up in here.” Those words would soon prove true as a flurry of dodgeballs would eliminate everyone on both sides except for one girl on the white team and ISRNS’s own Randi “Wildcard” Pedlow. With the skill of a well seasoned veteran, Wildcard would catch the final throw as time expired, good for 2 points, and a 4-2 victory. “That was just a straight up big time play,” said fellow teammate Michelle “Blazer” Suesens, “Between the Wildcard and I, we might just be the deadliest female dodgeball duo this side of the Hudson.”

Game 4 featured a straight up whopin’ of the deflated black team, with ISRNS cruising to a 12-4 victory this time. Despite having a 6 to 1 advantage twice in the game the black team just couldn’t seem to finish off O’Connor, who dodged and caught his way back into the match, allowing ISRNS to recover for wins both times. “I’ve played a ton of games over the past 4 seasons,” said Josh ‘El bandito’, “But when Oak is playing with that level of confidence, he’s one of the best you’ll see.”

ISRNS would finish 3-1 on the night, with the first place white team going 2-2, and the black team 1-3. Both opponents seemed to walk off the floor with a look of frustration as if to say, “They only had 5 people, half their squad, and we still can’t beat them?”

When asked what were the keys to victory, O’Connor shrugged it off as usual, saying, “Look they’ve got plenty of good players, but they don’t play like a team. We do.”

But it can't be that simple. Can it? There has to be something else going on with this special team that we don’t know about. When pressed further on the subject, O’Connor appeared tempted for a minute, then replied, “I’d Still Rather Not Say….”