The Final Installment of the Fall 08 Dodgeball Season

Team.

That is to say: Together. Everyone. Achieves. More.

Cliché? Maybe.

True? Absolutely.



On a chilly Tuesday in early November, history was made. It is a day that may change the face of the world as we know it. A day when hope sprang forth as the collective subconscious realized something truly great and unprecedented had just happened. “Remember, remember the 4th of November,” they’ll say. For it is the day when a semi-competitive dodgeball team won the zogports Queens weeknight division. That team, America’s team, the people’s champion, is I’d Rather Not Say.


After storming the league for a regular season title with a 21-3 record, player/manager Tom O’Connor’s expansion squad came into a championship fight with a target on their backs. “Word was out. We were the team to beat, there was no secret anymore. Teams were gonna bring it,” explained rookie and female MVP Blazer. But IRNS came out in the first game against the Blue team cooler than the shady side of a frozen margarita. Brad “The Guru” Esarey broke down the team’s approach in game 1 saying, “Hey act like you been here before, huh?” IRNS would strut its stuff in game 1 against the blue team, cruising to 13-7 victory with a total team victory with contributions from throwers and catchers, male and female, veterans and rookies. “There’s no substitute for being locked in,” said Wildcard. “That’s what happened in game 1, and it set the tone for the night.”


Game 2 featured a rematch with the dangerous grey team, but tag team force Josh “El Bandito” and J-Awesome would flip the aggro switch and quickly help IRNS jump to an early lead. “I can’t imagine how tough it was on them,” explained El Bandito. “J-Awesome and I weren’t here the last time we played them, so I don’t think they knew what him em’.” IRNS was riding high and set to cruise control heading into game 3 when things got interesting, as a few poorly placed throws and some lacksidasical dodging would cost them the game. “We hadn’t lost in a long time,” said Sonya “#1 Stunna” Rook. “Honestly I forgot what it felt like, but like Oak says, the game plan doesn’t change.”


So with the season on the line, IRNS would head into game 4 against the grey team as confident as ever. Win and they take the championship. Lose and it’s back to the drawing board. It was in this final game that brought out the greatest of what semi competitive recreational amateur sports has to offer. The game featured a group of people coming together for a common goal, a game where individuals would sacrifice themselves for the betterment of the team, a game where one play can turn a player into a folk hero, and a game where the team that was once only a twinkle in the eye of a young dodgeballer would become champions. The final game against the grey team was hard fought like all the ones before it, featuring a final last second catch to seal the victory, but it was so much more than that. For one shining moment, IRNS was the greatest dodgeball team on the planet, and whereas heroes get remembered, the legend of IRNS’ 2008 season will never die.

As he left the gym at PS 234 we asked O’Connor one last time about his team. Did he have any idea his team would do so well this year. “I’d Rather N….” he began. Then he stopped, looked to the gym floor and continued, “You know what f*ck it. Yeah I’ll say it. I knew it all along. I recruited the best group of dodgeballers around, each player had a unique skill set that fit into my system. Why do think I named the team IRNS? You can’t give away the secrets. Never a doubt, my friend. Never a doubt.”

So there it is. IRNS is your champion. Enjoy it Astoria. Will they be back next year? No one knows for sure. When asked this very question...well, I think you can guess how O’Connor replied.