Dodgeball Recap- Game 2- 1-27-09

Oh you didn't know? Your ass better call somebody!

In case you've been living under a rock, or in a borough not named Queens, the most electrifying semi-competitive amateur weeknight dodgeball team playing in a charity league, "I'd Still Rather Not Say," was back in action last night. And though they may say they're amateurs, they sure play like professionals.

Still not at full strength for week 2, the defending champs faced the white team yet again in game 1, falling in a hard fought battle by single point yet again, 13-12. "We were slow out of the gate," mused captian O'Connor, "We'll come out a little more fired up next week." It should also be noted here that the white team's superstar was finally called for the "Choke the shit out of the ball move" several times in game 1. "Yeah that move is pretty busch league," explained Sonya "#1 Stunna" Rook, "Our stud players could do that too if they wanted. That team is gonna struggle now that they're on to him."

IRNS would bounce back in game 2 against the orange team and Johnny Extreme Face for an easy 11-4 win. "That kid's gonna pop a blood vessel and pass out if he's not careful," said Josh "El Bandito." When asked how he was so sure, El Bandito, explained, “I didn't go to med school, but I do watch ‘House M.D.’” The game also saw the reemergence of Jared Awesome, fresh off the DL, as he continued his torrid pace of consecutive games with 3 catches or more. "We looked good right there," said JA, "I feel like the ISRNS train just pulled out of the gate, and I feel bad for whoever's standing on the tracks. Once this train gets rollin, it's hard to stop."

Game 3 featured a rematch with the white team, but ISRNS was much more fired up, yet still patient, and managed a 9-7 win. The key turning point came when Michelle "Blazer" began a vocal sparring match with the white team's bench, to which the other female ISRNSers joined in. The always explosive "Dynamite" Alice Bonner declared, "Is the notorious D.A.B. gonna have to slap a bitch?" Luckily it never got to that point as IRNS would take the lead for good as Johnny choke-a-ball airmailed a throw to O'Connor to end a round.

With the ISRNS train now in full cruise control, the team would roll to a 14-9 victory in game 4 against the orange team, but the game was not as close as the score would indicate. More importantly, the game featured the return of second year player and female MVP candidate Kristina Graeber, fresh off a stint in Zogsports Europe. When asked about her brief time in London, she explained, "Euro dodgeball is a lot more finesse, there's a lot of cheating, especially the French, they only play 3 vs 3, and the games take forever! I prefer my dodgeball games like I prefer sex: 6 on 6, and as fast as possible. That's the Queens way."

So now 2 weeks into the new season, ISRNS sits in the driver's seat yet again at 6-2, as next week will feature the return of Brad "The Guru" Esarey, and newcomer Brendan Fuller. Clearly ISRNS doesn't rebuild, they reload, and these two should make for a fear imposing duo the likes of which zogsports rarely sees. When asked for the 5th time in as many weeks what is it about Fuller and Esarey that makes them so scary together, O'Connor replied in perfect timing, "I'd Still Rather Not Say...."