Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Dodgeball Recap- Game 2- 1-27-09
Oh you didn't know? Your ass better call somebody!
In case you've been living under a rock, or in a borough not named Queens, the most electrifying semi-competitive amateur weeknight dodgeball team playing in a charity league, "I'd Still Rather Not Say," was back in action last night. And though they may say they're amateurs, they sure play like professionals.
Still not at full strength for week 2, the defending champs faced the white team yet again in game 1, falling in a hard fought battle by single point yet again, 13-12. "We were slow out of the gate," mused captian O'Connor, "We'll come out a little more fired up next week." It should also be noted here that the white team's superstar was finally called for the "Choke the shit out of the ball move" several times in game 1. "Yeah that move is pretty busch league," explained Sonya "#1 Stunna" Rook, "Our stud players could do that too if they wanted. That team is gonna struggle now that they're on to him."
IRNS would bounce back in game 2 against the orange team and Johnny Extreme Face for an easy 11-4 win. "That kid's gonna pop a blood vessel and pass out if he's not careful," said Josh "El Bandito." When asked how he was so sure, El Bandito, explained, “I didn't go to med school, but I do watch ‘House M.D.’” The game also saw the reemergence of Jared Awesome, fresh off the DL, as he continued his torrid pace of consecutive games with 3 catches or more. "We looked good right there," said JA, "I feel like the ISRNS train just pulled out of the gate, and I feel bad for whoever's standing on the tracks. Once this train gets rollin, it's hard to stop."
Game 3 featured a rematch with the white team, but ISRNS was much more fired up, yet still patient, and managed a 9-7 win. The key turning point came when Michelle "Blazer" began a vocal sparring match with the white team's bench, to which the other female ISRNSers joined in. The always explosive "Dynamite" Alice Bonner declared, "Is the notorious D.A.B. gonna have to slap a bitch?" Luckily it never got to that point as IRNS would take the lead for good as Johnny choke-a-ball airmailed a throw to O'Connor to end a round.
With the ISRNS train now in full cruise control, the team would roll to a 14-9 victory in game 4 against the orange team, but the game was not as close as the score would indicate. More importantly, the game featured the return of second year player and female MVP candidate Kristina Graeber, fresh off a stint in Zogsports Europe. When asked about her brief time in London, she explained, "Euro dodgeball is a lot more finesse, there's a lot of cheating, especially the French, they only play 3 vs 3, and the games take forever! I prefer my dodgeball games like I prefer sex: 6 on 6, and as fast as possible. That's the Queens way."
So now 2 weeks into the new season, ISRNS sits in the driver's seat yet again at 6-2, as next week will feature the return of Brad "The Guru" Esarey, and newcomer Brendan Fuller. Clearly ISRNS doesn't rebuild, they reload, and these two should make for a fear imposing duo the likes of which zogsports rarely sees. When asked for the 5th time in as many weeks what is it about Fuller and Esarey that makes them so scary together, O'Connor replied in perfect timing, "I'd Still Rather Not Say...."
In case you've been living under a rock, or in a borough not named Queens, the most electrifying semi-competitive amateur weeknight dodgeball team playing in a charity league, "I'd Still Rather Not Say," was back in action last night. And though they may say they're amateurs, they sure play like professionals.
Still not at full strength for week 2, the defending champs faced the white team yet again in game 1, falling in a hard fought battle by single point yet again, 13-12. "We were slow out of the gate," mused captian O'Connor, "We'll come out a little more fired up next week." It should also be noted here that the white team's superstar was finally called for the "Choke the shit out of the ball move" several times in game 1. "Yeah that move is pretty busch league," explained Sonya "#1 Stunna" Rook, "Our stud players could do that too if they wanted. That team is gonna struggle now that they're on to him."
IRNS would bounce back in game 2 against the orange team and Johnny Extreme Face for an easy 11-4 win. "That kid's gonna pop a blood vessel and pass out if he's not careful," said Josh "El Bandito." When asked how he was so sure, El Bandito, explained, “I didn't go to med school, but I do watch ‘House M.D.’” The game also saw the reemergence of Jared Awesome, fresh off the DL, as he continued his torrid pace of consecutive games with 3 catches or more. "We looked good right there," said JA, "I feel like the ISRNS train just pulled out of the gate, and I feel bad for whoever's standing on the tracks. Once this train gets rollin, it's hard to stop."
Game 3 featured a rematch with the white team, but ISRNS was much more fired up, yet still patient, and managed a 9-7 win. The key turning point came when Michelle "Blazer" began a vocal sparring match with the white team's bench, to which the other female ISRNSers joined in. The always explosive "Dynamite" Alice Bonner declared, "Is the notorious D.A.B. gonna have to slap a bitch?" Luckily it never got to that point as IRNS would take the lead for good as Johnny choke-a-ball airmailed a throw to O'Connor to end a round.
With the ISRNS train now in full cruise control, the team would roll to a 14-9 victory in game 4 against the orange team, but the game was not as close as the score would indicate. More importantly, the game featured the return of second year player and female MVP candidate Kristina Graeber, fresh off a stint in Zogsports Europe. When asked about her brief time in London, she explained, "Euro dodgeball is a lot more finesse, there's a lot of cheating, especially the French, they only play 3 vs 3, and the games take forever! I prefer my dodgeball games like I prefer sex: 6 on 6, and as fast as possible. That's the Queens way."
So now 2 weeks into the new season, ISRNS sits in the driver's seat yet again at 6-2, as next week will feature the return of Brad "The Guru" Esarey, and newcomer Brendan Fuller. Clearly ISRNS doesn't rebuild, they reload, and these two should make for a fear imposing duo the likes of which zogsports rarely sees. When asked for the 5th time in as many weeks what is it about Fuller and Esarey that makes them so scary together, O'Connor replied in perfect timing, "I'd Still Rather Not Say...."
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Winter Dodgeball 09 Recap-Game 1
It’s the words the rest of the Queens dodgeball league prayed they wouldn’t hear this winter: They’re back.
Outmanned yet again, but never ever outgunned, Tom O’Connor’s world fucking champion dodgeball squad “I’d Still Rather Not Say” returned to action last night to defend the coveted zogsports title. With several players missing due to unforeseen circumstances, ISRNS would arrive at the gym with only five players. Just minutes before the match O’Connor would sign 2 random jabronis standing on the sideline to fill in.
O’Connor’s last second tactic would backfire in the first game as the guy wearing jeans with a tucked in white T-shirt would cost IRNS a few points simply because he didn’t know the rules, eliminating himself with an early throw of the girls’ white ball. IRNS would fall in a close battle in game 1, losing 12-11 to the star studded white team.
“Yeah that one’s on me” O’Connor explained, “Guess I shoulda filled that guy in on the rules a little better.”
But as they always do ISRNS would continue to fight, and rallied behind second year and budding superstar Ismail Khair. “I made some plays last season, and I’m just looking to carry that momentum into this season. I want to be the go to guy.” Khair and company seemed to shake the rust off in game 2, cruising to an 11-4 victory at the break over the less talented black team.
Game 3 featured a rematch with the white team, but it would prove to much more tactical and low scoring affair. A few key catches by Josh “El Bandito” Oshinsky would help keep ISRNS in the game and with the score tied at 2 with a minute left, Oshinsky declared, “Catching is contagious. It’s contagious. It’s about to get contagious up in here.” Those words would soon prove true as a flurry of dodgeballs would eliminate everyone on both sides except for one girl on the white team and ISRNS’s own Randi “Wildcard” Pedlow. With the skill of a well seasoned veteran, Wildcard would catch the final throw as time expired, good for 2 points, and a 4-2 victory. “That was just a straight up big time play,” said fellow teammate Michelle “Blazer” Suesens, “Between the Wildcard and I, we might just be the deadliest female dodgeball duo this side of the Hudson.”
Game 4 featured a straight up whopin’ of the deflated black team, with ISRNS cruising to a 12-4 victory this time. Despite having a 6 to 1 advantage twice in the game the black team just couldn’t seem to finish off O’Connor, who dodged and caught his way back into the match, allowing ISRNS to recover for wins both times. “I’ve played a ton of games over the past 4 seasons,” said Josh ‘El bandito’, “But when Oak is playing with that level of confidence, he’s one of the best you’ll see.”
ISRNS would finish 3-1 on the night, with the first place white team going 2-2, and the black team 1-3. Both opponents seemed to walk off the floor with a look of frustration as if to say, “They only had 5 people, half their squad, and we still can’t beat them?”
When asked what were the keys to victory, O’Connor shrugged it off as usual, saying, “Look they’ve got plenty of good players, but they don’t play like a team. We do.”
But it can't be that simple. Can it? There has to be something else going on with this special team that we don’t know about. When pressed further on the subject, O’Connor appeared tempted for a minute, then replied, “I’d Still Rather Not Say….”
Outmanned yet again, but never ever outgunned, Tom O’Connor’s world fucking champion dodgeball squad “I’d Still Rather Not Say” returned to action last night to defend the coveted zogsports title. With several players missing due to unforeseen circumstances, ISRNS would arrive at the gym with only five players. Just minutes before the match O’Connor would sign 2 random jabronis standing on the sideline to fill in.
O’Connor’s last second tactic would backfire in the first game as the guy wearing jeans with a tucked in white T-shirt would cost IRNS a few points simply because he didn’t know the rules, eliminating himself with an early throw of the girls’ white ball. IRNS would fall in a close battle in game 1, losing 12-11 to the star studded white team.
“Yeah that one’s on me” O’Connor explained, “Guess I shoulda filled that guy in on the rules a little better.”
But as they always do ISRNS would continue to fight, and rallied behind second year and budding superstar Ismail Khair. “I made some plays last season, and I’m just looking to carry that momentum into this season. I want to be the go to guy.” Khair and company seemed to shake the rust off in game 2, cruising to an 11-4 victory at the break over the less talented black team.
Game 3 featured a rematch with the white team, but it would prove to much more tactical and low scoring affair. A few key catches by Josh “El Bandito” Oshinsky would help keep ISRNS in the game and with the score tied at 2 with a minute left, Oshinsky declared, “Catching is contagious. It’s contagious. It’s about to get contagious up in here.” Those words would soon prove true as a flurry of dodgeballs would eliminate everyone on both sides except for one girl on the white team and ISRNS’s own Randi “Wildcard” Pedlow. With the skill of a well seasoned veteran, Wildcard would catch the final throw as time expired, good for 2 points, and a 4-2 victory. “That was just a straight up big time play,” said fellow teammate Michelle “Blazer” Suesens, “Between the Wildcard and I, we might just be the deadliest female dodgeball duo this side of the Hudson.”
Game 4 featured a straight up whopin’ of the deflated black team, with ISRNS cruising to a 12-4 victory this time. Despite having a 6 to 1 advantage twice in the game the black team just couldn’t seem to finish off O’Connor, who dodged and caught his way back into the match, allowing ISRNS to recover for wins both times. “I’ve played a ton of games over the past 4 seasons,” said Josh ‘El bandito’, “But when Oak is playing with that level of confidence, he’s one of the best you’ll see.”
ISRNS would finish 3-1 on the night, with the first place white team going 2-2, and the black team 1-3. Both opponents seemed to walk off the floor with a look of frustration as if to say, “They only had 5 people, half their squad, and we still can’t beat them?”
When asked what were the keys to victory, O’Connor shrugged it off as usual, saying, “Look they’ve got plenty of good players, but they don’t play like a team. We do.”
But it can't be that simple. Can it? There has to be something else going on with this special team that we don’t know about. When pressed further on the subject, O’Connor appeared tempted for a minute, then replied, “I’d Still Rather Not Say….”
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
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